Milk with Attitude. Patriotic Deliciousness.

Milk with Attitude. Patriotic Deliciousness.

Milk with Attitude. Patriotic Deliciousness.

Join Now!

Join Now!

Join Now!

Welcome to CowT*Ts: Your outrageous, patriotic, and politically incorrect milk delivery service. You crave milk, and we’ll provide that delicious lactose without a hint of shame. A portion of profits is donated to farmer's suicide services. Drink milk and save lives today!

Welcome to CowT*Ts: Your outrageous, patriotic, and politically incorrect milk delivery service. You crave milk, and we’ll provide that delicious lactose without a hint of shame. A portion of profits is donated to farmer's suicide services. Drink milk and save lives today!

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Dairy Born Free, Delivered With Pride

Kickstart your mornings with the tastiest, boldest milk in the nation. We work with the happiest cows who rock American flags in the fields. Because everyone deserves a taste of freedom.

Kickstart your mornings with the tastiest, boldest milk in the nation. We work with the happiest cows who rock American flags in the fields. Because everyone deserves a taste of freedom.

Guilt-Free Sipping, Life-Changing Impact

Our profits don't just taste good; they do good. A portion of sales go to farmer's suicide services, helping fellow Americans live better lives.

Our profits don't just taste good; they do good. A portion of sales go to farmer's suicide services, helping fellow Americans live better lives.

Udderly Awesome

$14.99

$14.99

Weekly

Pint-Size

Free Delivery

1% Donation

Bovine Bonanza

$24.99

$24.99

Weekly

Quart-Size

Free Delivery

3% Donation

Cowpocalypse

$44.99

$44.99

Weekly

Gallon-Size

Free Delivery

5% Donation

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